Okay, that’s sort of a joke. But like most jokes there is a core of truth. Once I got back on the dating scene I was shocked by how many of the guys had kids.
Don’t get me wrong. I love kids. I want to have a few of my own at some point. I just don’t feel like I’m ready for them yet. At 28 I’m just now able to take care of myself, and I don’t even do that very well. I had corn and crackers for dinner last night! I can’t imagine having to care for another human being.
The truth is, I’m sort of intimidated by single dads.
The leap between single and parent just seems too wide to jump. I don’t have a problem dating someone older than me, since age is just a number. Experience is what is important. The experience of having a child is something I don’t understand. Not yet anyway. I worry that I won’t really understand the parent/child bond.
I know myself well enough to know that I’m a pretty selfish person. I’m not proud of it, but I am one. I can easily see myself getting huffy because he has to spend time with the kids instead of me. Or getting jealous that so much of his time and money goes to support the children. Just knowing that there is another person out there that he shares the permanent bonds of co-parenting with is enough to make me jealous.
I’m not proud of those feelings. I’m also not stupid enough to pretend I don’t have them. I was subjected to enough bimbo girlfriends when my parents divorced. I don’t feel like doing that to another kid.
I guess that might be the real problem. As the child of divorce I find myself identifying with the kids in this situation. I don’t care about what a bitch the baby momma is. I don’t care that the guy feels rejected because I have a no daddy dating rule. I just care about that kid having the easiest life possible within a difficult situation.
Am I a complete bitch for not dating people with kids? Is it totally unrealistic to expect to find a guy who, at our age, doesn’t already have a child? Can someone give me a good argument for dating people with kids, even though I have such big concerns about it? And what are your own rules when it comes to dating people with kids? The comment section is for commenting. Let it go.